


Africa

by novaisnotinsane



Series: The Heartbeat of Rain [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom
Genre: AND DRINK WATER KIDDOS, Africa by Toto, Bakery AU, Depressive Thoughts, Dr. Emile Picani - Freeform, Elliot (Cartoon Therapy) - Freeform, Inspired by Music, Kai (Cartoon Therapy) - Freeform, Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Mild Language, Not Taking Meds, Oh wait, Patton Sanders - Freeform, Remy Sanders - Freeform, Roman Sanders - Freeform, This is a, Virgil Sanders - Freeform, and, and now back to your regularly scheduled programming, band au, but TWO DIFFERENT AUS BECAUSE I'M UNORIGINAL, can't forget those kiddos, gimme those sweet sweet glasses gays, i'm going to spend about two hours formatting this but whatever, logicality - Freeform, not THREE, oh wait there's some angsty shit in here gotta tag that, ooooh yeah boi we got ourselves a sequel, take your medicine, that's right mofos we've got not ONE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novaisnotinsane/pseuds/novaisnotinsane
Summary: "I hear the drums echoing tonight"It's been a while since the respective best friends of Patton and Logan began dating. Of course, they'd start spending more time together. But it seems neither of them can admit how muchmorethey'd like to spend with one another. That all changes when Logan invites Patton to his next performance."I bless the rains down in Africa"





	Africa

**Author's Note:**

> TW: some cursing, depressive thoughts, not taking your meds (please remember to actually take your meds, kiddos. get a glass of water for yourself while you're at it).
> 
> Listen to Jonathan Young and Caleb Hyles's cover (featuring RichaadEB) of Africa while reading this! This is version Logan, Roman, and Elliot sing towards the end-- Logan sings Caleb's parts up until the instrumental, when he switches to sing Jonathan's part.  
> Here's the cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io4DryKmrgE
> 
> THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF "FALLING SLOWLY"!! You don't have to read it to understand most of what's going on, but it does provide some important background information. (and i just want more people to read it, but sshh nobody needs to know)
> 
> Okay I'll let you guys actually read it now! :D

_…_

_“I hear the drums_

_echoing tonight”_

_…_

He leaned on the doorway, his lips curved up as he watched the band practice their set list one final time, eyes trained on the man at the keyboard, whose fingers danced across the keys as if he had been born playing them. As the final chord ebbed away, he found himself moved to applaud the band, the sound of clapping drawing their attention.

“Come to take Virgil away from us so soon?” the guitarist called, waving to him.

“Unfortunately, I have to. I don’t think we want Remy handling customers when he’s had three espressos,” he joked, smiling brightly. Virgil, lounging in the front row, let out a loud groan, pushing himself up from the polished oak chair.

“Five minutes, Patton?” he asked, his eyes pleading. Patton sighed, shaking his head, cocking an eyebrow.

“Five minutes, and then we have to go before Remy goes full Espresso Mode on us,” he relented. Virgil thanked him and clambered onto the stage, not wasting a moment of his precious time. Patton drew closer to the stage, watching Virgil and his boyfriend Roman with a sad smile.

He was happy for Virgil, he was… but he couldn’t fight off the jealousy in his stomach growing like poison ivy. He sorely wished for somebody to look at him like he was the only person who ever mattered, for somebody to visit him on rainy days and pepper his face with quick kisses, for somebody to hold his hand and never let go. He sorely wished for somebody to love him.

He sat down in the chair Virgil had previously occupied, caught up in his thoughts as someone hopped off-stage and stood in front of him. “It’s nice to see you back again,” they said, sitting down next to him.

“Oh, Logan, I didn’t see you there, sorry!” The punk waved off the apology, shrugging in his usual nonchalant manner. He crossed his legs as Patton snuck a peek at his washed-out jeans, admiring the strong legs beneath them. “You guys sound really good,” he told him.

“...thank you…” Logan mumbled, concentrated on the floor underneath them. “You seem to be coming around more often. May I ask why?” Patton flushed, ducking his head as he shrugged.

“I just really like hearing you guys play,” he mumbled, swallowing the rest of the truth- how he also really liked watching Logan’s fingers dance across the keyboard, liked watching his dark blue eyes light up when he was passionate about something, liked watching his lips move to sing back-up, his voice a deep baritone against a bold tenor- down his throat. Logan seemed satisfied with the response, and they fell into a comfortable silence.

“Patton, may I ask you-” Logan began, before being cut off by Virgil’s call.

“Alright, Patton, I’m done. We gonna go to work or are you going to keep talking with your boy-toy?” the emo teased. Patton spluttered indignantly as Logan fell into a coughing fit, hiding his colored cheeks.

“Virgil!” Patton warned. Virgil cackled, smirking as he grabbed Patton’s arm, pulling him out of the folding seat. “I’m sorry, Logan, what were you going to say?” The punk looked up, clearing his throat.

“No worries, Patton, it was- it was nothing,” he replied, refusing to meet Patton’s eyes. He ran a frantic hand through his scruffy hair, saying a quick farewell to the frequent visitors.

As the duo left the band to continue their practice, Patton swatted Virgil’s arm playfully. “Virgil, why would you say that?!” he whispered.

“Patton, you’re my best friend, and I love you, but sometimes you’re just too dense to be bearable…” At Patton’s confusion, Virgil continued. “Logan is obviously into you. You do realize that, don’t you?” Patton paled, stilling as they reached the front doors. He glanced behind him, his eyes settling on the vivacious punk who had returned to his place on stage, eyes reserved for the keys he was playing. His heart leapt into his throat as the punk glanced up and met with Patton’s eyes as he gave a quick, polite smile and a wave goodbye. Patton waved back slowly, his appetence gone unseen as Logan turned back to his music, a bittersweet smile falling from his cheeks.

“I don’t know, Virgil, he doesn’t seem like the type to… do romance,” Patton said. “And that beside, I don’t think he would be into me. I’m just not… outspoken enough for him.” Virgil scoffed, rolling his eyes as the two stepped out into the rain, Patton opening up his umbrella.

“Considering you’re the one that helped me snag Roman, I’m surprised you’re such a hopeless romantic,” the emo retorted. “And who cares what _his_ type is, he’s obviously _your_ type! Don’t think I didn’t see you making googly eyes at Logan!” Patton froze for half a moment before he opened the door to his car, sliding into the front seat with ease.

“Shut up!” he groaned, burying his burning face into his hands. Virgil smirked, having gotten the proof he had been looking for. “Let’s just go to the bakery before Remy beats both of us over the head with a rolling pin.”

  
  


Patton sighed as he leaned against the counter, catching his breath. As much as he loved talking with the kids who came into the bakery with their parents, gawking at all the treats, sometimes their incessant whining and laughing and crying and talking gave him a massive headache. And he had happened to forget to bring Advil today.

As the flow of customers ebbed away, Patton let his gaze wander over the patrons sitting down on the quaint little stools he had found at a flea market. Some were typing away madly on their computers, college finals approaching quickly, while others were chatting with friends, laughing loudly at shared secrets and inside jokes. His gaze fell on a couple sitting by the window, the depiction of serenity.

One of them was staring at the other, a wistful smile on their face. Patton felt his heart wrench as his tore his gaze away. “You good, gurl?” he heard from behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see Remy, owner and manager of the bakery.

“Yeah, just a little out of it today. Forgot to bring Advil with me,” he mumbled, wringing his hands.

“...Ah. Lemme know if you need a break, gurl. I can handle the register,” Remy offered, though Patton quickly waved it away. “And promise me you’ll take your meds tomorrow, ‘kay, gurl?” Patton blanched, on the verge of explaining as Remy turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen.

Patton ran a hand through his hair as his gaze fell back onto the couple. The one with blue hair laughed loudly at something the one wearing a black leather jacket had said. If he closed his eyes, he could picture Logan sitting in front of him, chuckling at some joke Patton had made. Patton, of course, would tell Logan how beautiful his laugh was, like an angel’s hymn in his ears. Logan would smile shyly and take Patton’s hand, running his thumb across Patton’s knuckles, whispering sweet nothings.

But, of course, he reminded himself as he returned back to reality with a start, that would never happen. It was nothing more than a vivid fantasy where Logan was no more than a puppet. No. It was wrong of him to treat Logan like that, like a pet who would do everything his heart hoped for. And besides, Logan wasn’t into him. Nobody in their right mind would fall for him, an emotional mess who couldn’t even break a mug without breaking down.

He heard the doorbell ring as another patron walked in, and switched to autopilot, throwing on a brilliant smile as he slid towards the cash register, ready to take their order. “Hello! Welcome to the Night Shift! How may I help you?”

“Good morning, Patton!” the person responded. Recognizing the voice, he tuned out of his thoughts be to met with one of the regulars, Emile. Patton’s smile turned genuine. “Could I get my usual?”

“Of course, coming right up!” he replied as he went in search of a Stitch cookie. Virgil, having noticed the arrival of the psychiatrist, began preparing a small black tea with a hint of camomile. Patton delivered the goods to a smiling Emile. “Meeting with another client?” Emile nodded, leaning over the counter conspiratorially.

“Yeah, one of my newest ones, a kid named Kai. Thought he might appreciate a more… casual encounter of the third kind.” The two shared a laugh at the joke, their brotherhood built on dad jokes and cartoon references.

Emile sat down in a corner booth, leaving Patton alone again. He jumped suddenly, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. Sneaking a glance at the text he’d received, he felt his breath hitch and butterflies flood his stomach.

  
  


_dark strange sun_

heads up

logan just walked in

Wait, are you serious??

dude. yes. 

  
  


He looked furtively around the bakery, heart leaping as his eyes fell on a familiar blue-grey color scheme. Logan looked uncomfortable and out of his element as he scanned the sweet-smelling, pastry-selling shop, almost as though looking for someone. Patton took the moment to admire how the sun lit up Logan’s chestnut hair as though he wore a halo, how he bit his bottom lip in concentration as his sparkling blue eyes darted around the room, until they met his, and a relieved smile flashed across the punk’s face before he composed himself- wait a second.

“Salutations, Patton,” he called. Oh. So Logan had probably seen him staring. Great.

“Hi, Logan! I didn’t expect to see you here,” he answered, giving the keyboardist a cheerful wave. “Can I get you anything?” Logan paused, his face coloring pink for a moment, as though he were… embarrassed?

“Ah, no, I… came to speak with you.” Patton froze, stunned as he processed Logan’s words. “Do you have a spare minute?” He struggled to form a response, catching Remy moving around in the corner of his eye.

“Hey, Remy!” The sleepy baker looked up from his tray of macarons. “Could I maybe take that break now?” Remy glanced at Logan, giving him a typical once-over, and decided Logan was no threat to his precious paternal childling, nodding. “Thanks, Remy!” Patton ran over to give a quick hug to Remy, who squealed in surprise, and took off his apron, hanging it on a nearby hook.

He darted around the counter, coming face-to-face with Logan. At this proximity, he could hear Logan’s soft breaths, reminding he was very much _alive_ and this moment was very much _real_. Logan grasped his arm gently, leading Patton to a nearby table. He seemed loath to let go, though Patton told himself it was just a trick of the mind.

Logan was rubbing the back of his neck. He seemed… nervous about something, though Patton had half-believed it was near impossible for the confident, stoic punk to feel nervous about anything. “I… uh, I actually _did_ wish to ask you something this morning, before we were interrupted.”

Patton was sitting on the edge of his seat, unconsciously wringing his hands underneath the table. He waited for Logan to continue, waiting anxiously for his words.

“I wanted to ask you… if… you would come to our show this weekend.” Logan’s shoulders deflated as he finished, relieved with having finally spoken up.

Patton tilted his head, confused. “I was already planning to with Virgil. Didn’t Roman tell you?” Logan blinked, taken aback.

“No,” he said, gritting his teeth. “He didn’t.” He seemed mildly miffed at the discovery of this new information. He shook his head, pushing onward. “I meant…” Logan took a shaky breath. Patton leaned forward, grabbing the punk’s hands and squeezing them reassuringly. Logan gulped. “I meant… would you like to come… as my guest?” Patton felt himself inhale sharply.

He could hear the little voice in his head whispering to him, reminding him this could be nothing but a friendly gesture. Logan wasn’t asking him out on a date. He didn’t love Patton. He couldn’t. Patton wasn’t worthy enough, the voice told him. Logan would never love someone like him.

Logan was still expecting an answer.

“Sure!” he blurted, praying his nervousness wasn’t tangible. Logan’s eyes lit up with pure happiness, a relieved smile breaking across his face. _See?_ the voice asked. It was just a friend wanting to hang out with another friend. He’s showing goodwill because he pities you. Patton’s smile wavered for half a second, not gone unnoticed by Logan, before he forced his smile wider. “I’d love to see you guys perform. It’d be so much fun!”

A silence fell between them, prolonged and uncomfortable. “Well, thank you for inviting me Logan,” Patton told him as he stood up. “I should get back to my shift, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you like!”

Logan opened his mouth as if to say something, but thought the better of it and let Patton walk away, the punk’s smile falling as though things had not gone according to plan.

Patton pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling his headache coming back as his phone buzzed once more.

  
  


_dark strange sun_

okay what happened

Nothing

He just wanted me to come to their performance

...and?

...as his guest.

holy shit.

holy SHIT

Language!

PATTON, THIS PROVES LOGAN’S INTO YOU!

You can’t be serious, Virge

Logan doesn’t like me.

I’m sure he meant to ask me platonically!

do you realize how dense you sound

do you realize??

how dense you sound??

Virgil.

Don’t.

You know he’s better off without me.

..

patton.

you told me you took your meds

you didn’t take them, didn’t you?

patton, we’ve talked about this.

how long?

  
  


Patton blinked away the forming tears in his eyes as he turned off his phone. If Virgil really wanted to talk, he would find Patton during their shift. He shook his head, trying to clear it, and went back to work, plastering a brilliant smile on his face as he approached the little kids trying to see over the counter, forcing himself to bear with just a few more hours of joy he couldn’t feel.

Just a few more hours.

  


_…_

_“I seek to cure what’s deep inside_

_frightened of this thing_

_that I’ve become”_

_…_

  
  


The rain was beating down on the roof of the small little garage-like club they were performing at. Logan twiddled his thumbs mindlessly, the sound of raindrops a gentle lullaby to him. He jumped as the door slammed open suddenly, not surprised to find Roman on the other side.

“Nikola Tesla! Roman, don’t scare me like that!” he groaned, shaking his head.

“Ten minutes to showtime, hun,” Roman gushed, chewing nervously on his lip. “I’ve been looking out from behind the curtain for the past _forever_ and I still don’t see Virgil!” Roman let out a shaky breath, brushing his hair back.

“Perhaps he’s just running late,” he said curtly, knowing this meant Patton wasn’t out there either. He sighed, slouching in his chair, defeated. “You don’t think Patton misunderstood me, do you?” he asked quietly, refusing to meet his best friend’s eyes. Roman fell silent, unsure how to respond.

“We have no idea of knowing, Lo. If he _does_ think this is just some grand, platonic, certainly not romantic gesture… well, to quote a wise man I know, ‘my advice to you is to see what he does… if he shows signs of romantic interest, you can take things from there.’” Logan involuntarily cracked a smile. “If you can manage to get my love life sorted out, I’m sure you’ll do just fine, hun.”

Logan sighed, slumping further in his chair. “Thanks, Roman.” His head fell back, his eyes trained on the ceiling, studying the cracks that wove throughout the white-washed roof of the room. “I never thought I’d be needed romantic advice, but…” His smile widened as he thought of Patton and his vibrant smile, always willing to listen and _actually_ care about the words flowing from his mouth, rather than hear them and use them to finish the homework. “...it seems I can be proven incorrect.” His gaze fell back onto his best friend, who was staring at him, both eyebrows raised, his hand covering what Logan knew had to be a smirk. “Not one word, Prince.”

Roman snorted, shaking his head, as he playfully flipped the punk off, leaving to go peek out from behind the curtains once more. As the hopeless romantic left, Logan let himself straighten. Patton would come. He had to trust him. Patton _would_ come.

Clearing his head, he stood from his chair, going over to the countertop and picking up the thin necklace that glittered gold in the lights surrounding the dressing room’s mirror. It had been a birthday gift from Patton. Though they had only known each other for the short time their respective best friends had been dating, Patton had quickly warmed up to him, despite his initial cold and offstandish demeanor. He didn’t know when his heart had begun fluttering every time Patton smiled at him like he was his whole world, when he began catching himself staring at Patton every spare moment he had, when he fell in love with a man too pure and wholly _good_ for this world.

“Logan!” His head snapped towards the door, where Roman was leaning around the corner, staring at him pointedly. “Come on, we’re about to go on!” Logan cursed under his breath as he tossed the necklace over the head, its small heart pendant resting on his chest, starkly cool against the warmth of his skin. He followed Roman through the catacomb-esque labyrinth of hallways. With each turn, the two could hear the cheers and shouts of the crowd waiting for them grow in noise.

They picked up their drummer Elliot on their way to the stage; they showed off their new black skirt that had gotten tailored especially for the show to the two, who allowed themselves a moment of appreciation before returning on their journey. Logan felt the apprehension rise in his heart. He could picture it clearly within his mind: Patton would be standing in the middle of the crowd, and of course Virgil would be with him, but it was the cheerful baker who his eyes would be on. He would perform a special song for Patton, and he would understand just how deeply Logan cared for him, and perhaps maybe then he’d have the courage to ask Patton out on a rendezvous. But… those sort of things only happened in a perfect world; and while he was intelligent enough to understand astrophysics without a second thought, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that whatever world he was living in, it was not a perfect one, and thusly things would never go as planned. The thought made Logan’s stomach churned, though he brushed it off as nerves.

After what seemed like an eternity, the trio reached the wings. The crowd was nothing but a raucous mob, all cheering for their favorite of the band. Logan loved this moment. His anxiety was through the roof, no doubt, but he knew that just on the other side of the curtain was a throng of people who needed to hear his words, hear his voice, hear his logic, and let them know everything was going to be alright. He knew that the second he walked out on stage, he would be nothing but a songbird taking flight over valleys of emerald grass and mountains of rustic blues.

“What is up, everybody?!” he heard from the stage. A roar emanated from the crowd. “How y’all doing tonight? I hope everybody is feeling good! We got quite the performers for y’all tonight, so be ready to be amazed! To be entranced! To fall in love with! Kalopsiaaaaaa!” A deafening cry came from the crowd as the band members ran onto stage as they had rehearsed for ages. The cry increased as they waved, greeting their loving fans. The emcee grinned. “Let’s introduce our lovely little players for tonight, shall we?” As the crowd shouted their acquiescence, the emcee meandered over to Elliot, who had taken their spot in the back, resting on their beloved drum set.

“In the back, playing drums with _wicked_ talent is the one, the only, Elliot Shapiro!” A couple eager fangirls screamed, waving frantically at the shy drummer. Elliot finger-gunned the audience, flashing their trademark smirk. “And playing keyboard like he invented the damn thing is Logan Sapienti!” As the crowd shouted and rallied the keyboardist, Logan let his eyes drift across the darkened blob of the audience, scanning the foreign faces for a far more familiar visage he was hoping to see. But he couldn’t see Patton. He bit back the welling worry, instead giving the audience a curt nod.

“And finally, my lovelies, we’ve got the singer and guitarist, the ladies’ man who I hear is more of a gents’ man, Roman Prince!” Logan held back the urge to roll his eyes at the emcee’s dramatic reveal of Roman’s name. Honestly, it wasn’t like they hadn’t played in the venue before. “Alright, ladies, laddies, and non-binary maddies, before I hand the mic over to Princey, have a safe and fun night, eat your vegetables, and take your meds! And for our resident drivers named Chad, remember to wear a seat belt!” A select few hooted at the emcee, knowingly used to this sort of fuckery. The emcee gave an enthusiastic bow, handing the mic to Roman before sashaying off stage.

“Hello, everybody!” Roman said. The crowd responded as usual, cheering. “We’ve got a great set list for you tonight, with a couple of surprises we’ve thrown in there just to make sure you don’t get too hungover before the fun’s even begun!” Roman glanced at Logan, who gave the singer a subtle smile, nodding once. “Our first song tonight is a little song we wrote when we first got together, called _Mellifluous._ Now, without further ado, let’s kick it!”

Without another moment to waste, Elliot started up the drum line, Logan soon joining in on the keyboard. This was now his favorite song to play, mostly because the title reminded him so much of Patton’ laugh. _Patton._ Suddenly reminded of his true motives for this show, he looked up at the crowd. Now that the lights shining in his face had dimmed, he could make out the facial features of each person much better. There was a fair amount of people, some 50 or 60 all gathered in the small space allotted for the concert, but it was beginning to look like Patton was not among the patrons present. His heart dropped as one of his fingers hit the wrong note. Logan immediately noticed and cringed, correcting his mistake quickly. He caught Roman sending him a worried glance from the corner of his eye.

“ _And the sound of your voice is mellifluous. Boy, you know you’re promiscuous. And maybe I’ll never get to have you, but I’ll somehow get through._ ” Logan blinked back the tears that were threatening to form. When he, Roman, and Elliot had originally written the song, it had been Roman who was hopelessly in love with someone he never got; now, though, it was himself, so deeply in love with Patton he didn’t even know where to begin.

And then he spotted those familiar baby blue eyes that sparkled in sunlight. Logan nearly choked on his breath, unable to keep a small smile from his face as his brain recognized the eyes, and the person they belonged to: _Patton_. Almost as though he heard Logan’s thoughts, Patton’s eyes flickered from Roman jamming out the chorus to him, stopping his heart with the bright, wavering smile Patton gave him, waving.

The song ended all too soon. The roar of the audience was deafening, but knowing Patton’s voice was somewhere in the babbel made it slightly more bearable. After the din subsided, Roman took hold of the mic once more, introducing the next song on their playlist. It went by like a blur, and all too soon they were at the last two songs they would play that night. The first he cared little for, it was some typical love song that meant the world to Roman and Virgil. He played as though it meant the world to him, too, but inside he was longing for the finale- _Africa_. The one by Toto. While he knew many of his age considered the song to be a meme and paid little critical attention to it, he enjoyed its melody and rhythm. There was also the added plus of it being Patton’s favorite song, thanks to an overhead conservation between the baker and Virgil, but, well… it’s not like Logan liked the song _only_ for that reason…

He watched Roman with envy as he sang so beautifully, so truthfully of his love for Virgil. His eyes unwillingly flickered towards Patton, whose sky eyes glanced away as he blushed, indicative of being caught staring. He offered a bright smile to the baker as soon as he looked back.

All too soon the song ended, Roman sending a quick wink to his lover hidden within the throng. His nerves began to creep into the forefront of his mind like ivy crawling up the ancient brick wall of a tenant building. If their last song was for Roman and Virgil, this song was for him. And, hopefully, for Patton.

“Alright, guys!” Roman quipped, his smile brighter and wider with the end of _Falling Slowly_. “We have one final song for you guys on this rainy night! It’s a song you all know and love, a song you’ve heard since forever, a song we grew up knowing. Can anyone guess what it is?” The audience all called out songs from their childhood, some well-known and others far more obscure. As the calls died down, Roman spoke again. “To be honest with you guys, all I heard was someone screaming ‘All Star’, and while I, too, enjoy that song, that’s not what we have in store for you all tonight.” From the back came a loud groan, sparking laughter from others. “Instead, we have one of Logan’s favorite songs, _Africa_ by Toto! Enjoy, my lovelies, and have a wonderful rest of the night!”

This was it. He was going to put his heart and soul into this song, and goddamnit he was going to make Patton see how deeply he’d fallen if it was the last thing he ever did. He gave himself a moment to collect his thoughts before he began to play, fingers tapping each key as though the melody was ingrained in his memory. He heard Roman begin to sing, crooning in his typical style. Of course, they had decided to go with a more pop-rock cover of the song, with a heavy bass guitar accompanying his keyboard. It suited his edge.

He almost forgot to sing when the chorus came up. It took him out of his headspace, back into the real world, to focus on the keyboard and the words spilling from his mouth. The second verse came up, and Roman dropped out, leaving him alone with his raw voice full of all the emotions he’d been bottling up those past weeks.

“ _I seek to cure what’s deep inside. Frightened of this thing that I’ve become_ ,” he sang, nearly cringing at the hard edge in his voice that revealed all the feelings inside of him. _Do it for Patton_ , he told himself. _Do everything for him._

He was finally allowed to let his mind wander a few paces during the instrumental- they had practiced this sequence specifically so many times he could do it with his eyes closed. Which, in fact, he was. He was picturing Patton in front of him, swaying on the dancefloor, dancing for him and him alone. His innocent blue eyes were watching Logan, teasing him of what he might never have if he didn’t do this.

Logan remembered he was still alive, still in this moment, still playing a song. His eyes ripped open, blinded by the stage lights that were watching him so judgmentally. His heart jumped into his throat, recalling the part that came next.

“ _It gonna take a lot to drag me away from you; there’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do._ ” He and Roman sang together a capella, their voices the sole noise in the venue. Both of them, he knew, were singing for someone they couldn’t bare to let go.

He was desperate for Patton to hear the truth in his words, to hear the hidden meaning behind in his voice. Perhaps this limerence was but ephemeral, but he would be lying if he said he would not regret knowing what sort of special memories he would make along the journey to oblivion. He only hoped Patton would understand.

He began pressing each chord in rhythm with the beat. His voice rang out, a deep bass against Roman’s tenor. “ _I bless the rains down in Africa._ ”

_Please, Patton. Be my rain. Drench me in love, and all things foreign to me._

His eyes locked with Patton, whose eyes beheld something unfamiliar, something wild and… scared. Patton’s face scrunched up as though he was about to cry and then his eyes left his own, leaving him alone and searching once more.

He could only watch and keep playing as Patton turned away, unseen by anyone but him, and pushed through the crowd, running outside into the rain. The song wouldn’t end quick enough. But he still had the applause to get through. He had to be polite, of course.

The second the curtains dropped, Logan raced for the back door, grabbing an umbrella from the coat check on his way out. He didn’t even tell Roman where he was going, he just bolted after Patton, praying he was still outside.

The raindrops splattered across his face, feeling more like bullets that little drops of water from the heavens. His breath was in his throat, his heart beating to a time too fast to be counted. _Patton, Patton, he had to find Patton_. His head snapped up, eyes searching frantically for this chance before it slipped out of his hands like sand in an hourglass.

And then he saw him.

Patton was hugging his sides awkwardly, swaying in the pounding rain as he waited for someone. The glow of the venue’s sign lit up his body, an aura of bright blue surrounding him like some sort of fluorescent angel. The luminescence also lit up the tears rolling down his face as he bit his lip, choking back soft cries.

“Patton? Are you alright?”

Patton’s head whipped towards him, his face contorting into something unknown to him. The baker put on a brave face, his smile wide but wavering. “Oh, hi, Logan… I’m fine, you don’t need to worry about me!” Logan cocked an eyebrow. Something was off. Patton’s smile was too tight, his eyes were too tired, his breathing was too shallow- oh.

“Patton, are you having a panic attack?” he asked frankly. Patton’s eyes widened, embarrassment flashing across his face before he schooled himself into a calmer expression.

“N-no. I’m okay, Logan. _Please_ , don’t worry about me,” he replied a little too quickly. Logan watched Patton for a second, studying him, before he threw all logic to the wind and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the baker in a tight hug. Patton squeaked at the action, freezing in his arms.

“It’s alright, Patton. It’s just you and me out here. If you need to let anything go, I’m here to listen,” he whispered. He felt Patton’s shoulders begin to shake as he went limp in Logan’s arms. “Patton…?” he asked gently as he heard a quiet sob come from the baker.

“...I’m sorry…” he cried.

“Wh- hey, hey, Patton, look at me, look at me,” he ordered, taking Patton’s face into his hands. Patton’s eyes were red, full of tears, his usual smile now absent. “I don’t what you’re apologizing for, but I promise, it’s alright. There’s no need to apologize.”

“I feel so guilty…” Patton whispered, burying his head into his chest as Logan rubbed Patton’s back tenderly.

“...for what?” He didn’t want to ask it- he was scared of what the answer might be- but he knew Patton needed to tell someone, for his sake and for Logan’s.

“...everytime I look at you, I feel guilty for feeling so many things all muddled together inside my heart. You deserve someone… someone who can smile all the time and _mean_ it. Not someone who has to take stupid pills to keep himself sane. Not me.” Logan felt the air rush of out him at Patton’s revelation, unsure what to say that would soothe the sobbing baker.

“Patton, I… I’m rather unsure of your meaning…” he said carefully. Patton pulled away from the embrace, his big eyes staring into his soul. Galaxies above, he wanted to kiss Patton so badly right now, kiss away all this man’s pain.

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way every time you speak Logan. I shouldn’t feel my heart skip a beat everytime you look at me. I shouldn’t spend my nights wondering what you’re up to, wondering if you think about me the way I think about you. But I do, Logan, I do feel all of these crazy things and I don’t know what to do with it. And I feel guilty because… well, I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” Patton blurted. In a whisper, so hushed he could hardly hear it over the sound of rain’s heartbeat, he added, “I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

He felt his heart stop, his hands freezing in their motions. _Holy shit._ Had he heard Patton correctly?

His shock was misinterpreted, apparently, as Patton’s face fell, tears brimming in his eyes. Perhaps it was just the rain. “Oh… you… you don’t…” Patton untangled himself from his arms as he screamed at his mind to start working once more. He turned away from Logan, ready to run, when at last the performer’s brain rebooted. He grabbed Patton’s arms, breath catching in his throat.

“Patton! Please, don’t leave,” he pleaded, blinking away the raindrops that blurred his vision.

“Why?” Patton demanded, words full of hurt and heartache. “You only invited me as a friend. It’s not like you love me. Why do I have to stay if it only means my heart is going to ache a little while longer?”

He fell silent, the only sound between them the patter of rain on unfeeling concrete. “...I thought you understood what I meant by asking you to the performance…” he mumbled. Patton’s eyes finally flickered back to meet his, full of hope. “I meant to ask you out… as a date.”

Patton stepped back, utterly stunned at his confession. “You… as a… are you serious?” Logan swallowed nervously despite knowing full well there was little to be nervous about.

“Yes. In the months since we have met, I have become quite enamored with you, Patton. I enjoy your company and your smile and your laugh and dozens upon dozens of tiny little details about you that I could write entire journal entries about. Everything about you fascinates me, Patton- more than fascinates me. I’m enthralled by your existence, and I’ve become obsessed as a result. I can’t stop thinking about how your eyes crinkle in the corners when you smile, how you smell like comfort food and freshly baked cookies, how your kindness extends to each and every being. To put it quite frankly, Patton, I’m no longer infatuated with you; rather, it seems I’ve fallen quite deeply in love with you. And, if you would be willing, I would like to date you, to see if perhaps you love me, too.”

Patton’s mouth was agape in surprise. “Are you… are you asking me out?”

“...Yes? Forgive me, I’ve never really been one for romance, so I’m… inexperienced on my part,” he replied sheepishly. For each moment Patton was silent, the dread in Logan’s stomach grew exponentially.

“I think I would really like to be your boyfriend, Logan,” Patton at last whispered. All of a sudden, he felt his world shift, and Patton had never looked more beautiful, standing under a blinking neon sign, rain drenching him, his eyes and smile full of bittersweet hope. Maybe they would crash and burn and remember nothing but the taste of rain gone sour with time. But maybe they wouldn’t, and they would let themselves run free, creating memories they could look back upon and smile at. They at least had to try.

His heart was soaring, his smile unstoppable. Patton suddenly sneezed as Logan realized they were still in the pummeling rain, and he’d yet to open his umbrella. Swiftly, he shook off the beads of water collecting on the umbrella and opened it, protecting them both from the rain. He glanced back at Patton, who was biting his lips, staring up at him. His heart pounded. “Patton, may I… may I kiss you?”

Patton gasped softly, steadily nodding.

He moved slowly, hesitant in his movements, ready to pull back at moment’s notice. Logan’s eyes closed just before Patton’s as their lips met. It was a short, shy kiss, but the moment they broke it, Logan knew he wanted to kiss Patton again and again for the rest of his life. It seemed Patton wanted it, too, for he grabbed Logan by the collar of his sleeveless jean jacket and pulled him closer, their lips crashing together with far more force than their first kiss.

He, of course, had no idea what he was doing with his hands or his mouth or his head or his legs or his anything. It was Patton who guided him through it, clasping his head between two tender hands, moving against his lips to fit perfectly against them. His mind was spinning, unable to decide whether he should focus on the soft sigh Patton let out or the electricity running through his veins like lightning or the sweet taste of Patton’s lips that reminded him of cotton candy.

They broke for air as all lovebirds must, pressing their foreheads against one another and allowing themselves to smile in the privacy of each other. Logan found himself beginning to giggle at the silliness of it all. He fell silent, however, when he phone buzzed urgently twice.

He pulled it out and paled. “Oh, shit, I forgot to tell Roman where I went.” Patton blanched, having forgotten to tell the same to Virgil. “Virgil is likely with Roman, I’ll let him know you’re with me,” he mumbled, pressing a calming kiss to Patton’s forehead.

  
  


_gay or european_

Where are you???

Are you with Patton?

Virgil’s getting kinda worried

Apologies for not replying.

I had

activities

to attend to.

Wait a fucking second

Are you with Patton right now?

Yes, I’m right outside, why?

Oh, hun.

Oh, HUN.

Did you??

Did I what?

Did you flipping kiss him, nerd?!

..

I’m pleading the fifth.

HA!

  
  


Logan turned off his phone with a roll of his eyes, chuckling. “Well, I think Roman and Virgil have been adequately informed of our… activities…” he said with a faint blush. Patton smiled demurely, giggling. He was about to turn away and lead Patton back into the venue to meet up with the others when he heard him gasp. He turned back.

“Logan, are you wearing the heart necklace I gave you?” he asked quietly. He nodded shyly, unusually embarrassed. Patton’s face melted into a grin bright enough to outshine a supernova. “That’s so sweet!” he cooed. “It’s looks great on you,” he added gently, grasping Logan’s hand serenely.

Without thinking, he blurted, “Well, of course it looks great. I _have_ to dress fantastically. I spent so many years in the closet, after all.”

“Logan…”

“Yes? Is something wrong?”

“Did you just make a dad joke?”

“...none of this makes its way to Roman.”

“Only if you kiss me again.”

“...deal.”

  
  


_…_

_“I bless the rains_

_down in Africa”_

_…_

**Author's Note:**

> so look which cryptid finally decided to show up
> 
> hope you enjoyed this 13-page beast I stress-wrote over the weekend because homework?? who's she??? never heard of her.
> 
> the lyrics for "Mellifluous" are mmmINE. Don't phcking steal them. Baka.


End file.
